I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
