I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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