summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
