Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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