You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
