new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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