Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
