What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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