Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
