Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
