Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Text me some of your sweat
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