i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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