I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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