dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
