don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
