We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
is it fun? or sober?
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