I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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