It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
