WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
