I heard we made out
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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