it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
