she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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