Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
