When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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