Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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