just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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