i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
