i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
