Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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