Where did you get a picture of my penis
Someone shit on the floor
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
