just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
