i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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