You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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