it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Someone came in the potted fern
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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