We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
