I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize