its not stalking. its research.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
