That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
