i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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