Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
