Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize