Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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