she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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