he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
