More tranny stories later!
even my farts smell like vagina
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
