I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
