He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
