i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize