Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
