This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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