College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
