Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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