to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
