i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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