My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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