I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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