Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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