watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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