how can u be prego again
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize