best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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