My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
